Your Mental Wealth

I stopped at the local supermarket one morning to pick up some “essential” items. As I was going back to my car I heard an unbelievably loud racket coming from an old pick-up truck that had pulled in next to me. The fellow in the passenger’s seat obviously had his CD player, pulsing with music, cranked all the way up. I swear the truck was vibrating from the bass beat. You know, the kind of thumping sound that comes from a car that pulls up to the light next to you with windows rolled up and a “BOOM BADA BOOM BADA, BOOM BADA……”

Irritated by the noise, as I walked in front of the truck, I looked up at the guy, rough shaven, dirty ball cap, ripped T-Shirt, smoking what looked like a “funny” cigarette clenched conveniently between his gums in one of the several gaps provided by the few teeth that he had left in his head. He didn’t seem to notice me as I walked by, and appeared “Zombied” as if he was in some kind of trance, head nodding up and down and moving back and forth, foot long scraggly pony tail bobbing in rhythm to the head nods. With his hands he appeared to be playing an imaginary miniature drum set. All of the above was happening, I concluded, as a result of the leaves he was smoking combined with the music he was listening to.

In my mind, I began constructing an unauthorized brief biography as to what kind of person he was, what his value system was (poor), this level of consciousness (low), what kind of father he was (I assumed he was an absentee one), what kind of partner he would be (bad), his level of trustworthiness (low), his violence potential (high), all in the length of time it takes a web page to load.

Do I need to say that the above conclusions were not what could be characterized as gracious? Need I say that the judgments of him were less than complimentary? Need I say that I didn’t cut him much slack? Need I say that having run that mental rap sheet on him in about 6 seconds that I was even more irritated by his mere presence?

As I got in my car, having allowed him to have pretty much hi-jack the peaceful feelings I had going into the store, I firmly slid into my smug, holier-than-thou, self-righteous, judgmental pew (car seat). Suddenly everything went quiet. As I glanced at the hole in the noise, I saw the man get out of his truck. (He was probably going for his shotgun, because he was going to rob the store? Or decided that he wanted to shoot someone? Me? Had he somehow read my mind?)

With the biggest toothless friendliest smile that think I have ever seen on a human being he turned and began moving towards the back of his truck, obviously talking to someone. His buddy? His friend? His wife or child? A police officer coming to check him out?

No, none of those. As I watched in my rear view mirror, I saw him approach an elderly lady. As the scene unfolded it became apparent by the gesturing and talking that she had “lost” her car. (By this time I had rolled my window down to make sure that he wasn’t going to mug her). It seemed from what I could make out that she had been walking back and forth in the parking lot for several minutes. He had noticed her, (I hadn’t, because I was busy writing an opinion paper in my head, remember?) and asked her if she needed help. I saw him reach for her grocery sacks, while together they began walking, chatting, laughing, and apparently having a good time as they looked for her car. They eventually found it and actually finished off the adventure with a hug.

Thinking that the woman must have been someone he knew, I waited a minute or so until he got back to his truck and yelled out my window, “That was nice of y–did you know her?” He simply said, “Nope.” He then got in his truck and cranked the tunes.

I was embarrassed and chastened. See, while I was taking this guy’s inventory, he was noticing people around him who could use his help.

I wish I was evolved enough to have said, “Hey you know what I just caught myself doing?”

“You know what lesson I was reminded of?”

“You know what you just taught me, again?” I didn’t say anything. Out loud.

I did symbolically sit myself down and give myself a good talking to. It is hard to be reminded that part of me can still seize a moment. I guess I needed to be reminded that I am still capable of hurting others (and myself) with my judgments. Apparently, I needed to be reminded that while I am doing stuff like that in my mind I miss a lot of what is REALLY going on. Another AFGO. (Another Freakin Growth Opportunity).