Your Mental Wealth

Perhaps you have seen the book Not Quite What I was Planning. Six Word Memoirs edited by Smith Magazine.  In it, they propose that we see what would happen if we only used six words to describe different aspects of life.  You can find examples at www.smithmag.net.  Here are some:

• About life:  “Found great happiness in insignificant details”
• On the human condition: “My reach always exceeds my grasp”
• Why I am the way I am: “I watched a lot of television”
• Purpose in life: “Seeking route, not sure of destination”

They have one on love too, more about that later.

Love, what a concept.  I have been accused of not “believing” in love.  Though not quite true, I can understand how someone might walk away from a conversation about the topic and believe that.  You see, I think that using the word “love” is a cop-out sometimes; well maybe more than sometimes, maybe most of the time.

I think that the phrase has become a short cut for us “lovers”.  Instead of understanding and saying:

• “I really enjoy the part of me that comes alive when I am with you”
• “I really enjoy having fun with you like this”
• “I really like how the poet in me comes out when I am around you”
• “I feel lucky that someone like you would want to be with someone like me”
• “I feel really safe with you”
• “I sometimes think about how empty my life would be without you in it”

Or countless other thoughts and feelings, though I may FEEL and THINK these kinds of things, often all you get is the “I love you” shorthand message.  You really have no idea what I am experiencing (it is a way of keeping those awareness’s from myself too).

Don’t get me wrong, hearing “I love you” is better than hearing nothing at all, but I like receiving (and delivering) the more accurate, richer, deeper, intimate message of that moment.

So, if you dare, the next time you are moved to say to someone “I love you”, dig a little deeper and see if you can grab hold of what you are really experiencing.  Find words to describe what you discover.  See if it doesn’t feel closer to what you were trying to share.  And if you really dare, the next time someone says, “I love you”, ask them if they would be willing to share what they mean by that.  See if the result is worth the effort.  It is for me.

So, back to the Six-Word Memoirs.  Margie challenged me to compress how I would describe our relationship in six words.  Ever the one to buy time, I said “You first”.

She said “With you, I am, most myself”.

My turn, but try as I might, I couldn’t think of six.  Always one to ask if I can change the rules, I asked if I could do it in just three.  She let me get by with that.

And, speaking of how I felt in and about our relationship I said, “My safest place”.

Another (better?) way to say “I love you”.

What would your words be?