Arguments about cash contribute to half of all divorces. Here’s how his-and-her money personalities can work together instead of rip apart
Paul Kita and Loren Chidoni
Guardian & Rational
Danger level: Medium
You both have the same destination—financial stability—but see very different paths to get there. Guardians have never met a nickel they didn’t want to rush to the bank, whereas Rationals analyze and number-crunch before making any investment decision. The result: finger pointing when investments dip. Solution: Split portfolio responsibility evenly, says Yvonne Fulbright, Ph.D., a relationship expert and founder of SexualitySource.com, and compete to see who does better each year. Both money types will appreciate the freedom, and because Rationals are so goal-oriented, they’ll enjoy the challenge.
Artisan & Artisan
Danger level: High
You’re on the same page—and that’s the problem. “There’s no short-term friction because you agree, but you’re heading toward huge financial problems in the future,” says Dan Ariely, Ph.D., a professor of behavioral economics at Duke University. Solution: Take a back-to-basics approach to retirement planning. Max out your companies’ 401(k) plans, wean yourself off credit cards, and funnel automatic paycheck deductions a rainy-day savings account and, if applicable, a 529 plan to pay for your kids’ college education. What you have left each month is your play money. If you’re budget is still in the red, try this: Set limits on the amount you can spend each month on specific things like groceries, clothes, coffee, and so on. Stick the cash into separate envelopes. “This will prevent you from spending indiscriminately,” says Ariely. “The envelopes provide limits that can’t be broken.”
Guardian & Artisan
Danger level: Medium
One of you is a saver, the other a sucker for impulse buys. Your biggest risk: “If you don’t communicate,” says Brad Klontz, Psy.D., a financial psychologist and author of Wired for Wealth, “the artisan will start to hide spending and the guardian will start secretly saving.” Solution: Play to each other’s strengths, says Klontz. Let the guardian handle the finances and investments. Then, for the artisan, create a budget line for fun. “Each person should be allowed spend a certain amount without having to consult the other,” says Klontz. “Any purchase above that amount requires a conversation first.”
